It has been kind of a slow day. I've just been working on homework and trying to get things together for the week. In the midst of all that, I got to thinking. It is nothing short of amazing what will happen in your mind when you simply devote it to thinking. So I decided to write down what I was thinking about. After playing drums for the Women's Rally last night, I had a chance to sit down with two awesome guys, Taylor Welch and Jimmy Grove. We just got to talking about life and different things and we started discussing how evil and twisted our world has become. It has certainly not taken long for the world we live in to become perverse and full of outrageous atrocities. Every once in a while, we see a glimmer of compassion and true heart, such as in the recent Haiti incident. However, for as many compassionate and beautiful people as there are in the world, it seems there are more evil, self-serving, and malignant people. Every day is a constant struggle between the heights of good and the depths of injustice.
When Jesus addresses the disciples in John 16:33, He starts off by saying that if you live long enough in this world, you will experience troubles. Not a very light, encouraging thing for him to say. If the verse ended there, we would all walk away from our Bibles feeling somewhat betrayed by our beliefs, but it doesn't end there. Jesus continues on to say that although we are sure to face horrible things, we can take heart in the fact that He has overcome all the world. No matter what we are currently walking through, Christ has overcome it. Whatever evil things we see, Christ has overcome them. God is above all things and at work in all things. There is nothing that this world can produce that He has not already seen, encountered and triumphed over. End of story.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Monday, January 4, 2010
The Awesome Hope
“Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out” - Vaclav Havel
In a way, no one can avoid a night in the dark. Inevitably, there will be a moment in your life in which you understand far less than you would like to, know less than you expect to, see less than you long for, and perceive less than you desire. The weird thing is, I think that may be exactly how God wants it. Moments in which the Christian stands asking, "God, what are you doing?" or "Why is this happening?" are the moments which God cherishes most. This is not to suggest that God loves to confuse you, for the Bible shows that He is a God of ultimate order and revelation. However, in the moments where the path ahead of us is covered in a mist that blinds our eyes, we are forced to thrust out our hands in desperation, grasping for support. If nothing is there, we will surely fall. Then, when we are nearly at the end of ourselves (or sometimes even past the end) a hand does reach out to catch us, and in that moment we find grace and provision to be sweeter and more abundant than we ever imagined they could be.
It is at that realization that God is most glorified, as we are unable to give a response that is anything less than true praise. Uncertainty in our moment of need squeezes every ounce of genuine worship out of us when the final fulfillment of God's salvation is made apparent. In light of this, we must begin the difficult task of realizing that it is not our duty to be certain of the outcome of our situation, any more than it is God's duty to explain himself or his actions to us. Rather than standing secure in what we can manage for ourselves, we must find the sweet satisfaction in knowing that despite sickness, pain, fear, depression, doubt, darkness, despair, poverty, death, loss, confusion, insecurity, and rejection, God is working ALL things together according to His good and perfect will. That is a hope you can stand on.
In a way, no one can avoid a night in the dark. Inevitably, there will be a moment in your life in which you understand far less than you would like to, know less than you expect to, see less than you long for, and perceive less than you desire. The weird thing is, I think that may be exactly how God wants it. Moments in which the Christian stands asking, "God, what are you doing?" or "Why is this happening?" are the moments which God cherishes most. This is not to suggest that God loves to confuse you, for the Bible shows that He is a God of ultimate order and revelation. However, in the moments where the path ahead of us is covered in a mist that blinds our eyes, we are forced to thrust out our hands in desperation, grasping for support. If nothing is there, we will surely fall. Then, when we are nearly at the end of ourselves (or sometimes even past the end) a hand does reach out to catch us, and in that moment we find grace and provision to be sweeter and more abundant than we ever imagined they could be.
It is at that realization that God is most glorified, as we are unable to give a response that is anything less than true praise. Uncertainty in our moment of need squeezes every ounce of genuine worship out of us when the final fulfillment of God's salvation is made apparent. In light of this, we must begin the difficult task of realizing that it is not our duty to be certain of the outcome of our situation, any more than it is God's duty to explain himself or his actions to us. Rather than standing secure in what we can manage for ourselves, we must find the sweet satisfaction in knowing that despite sickness, pain, fear, depression, doubt, darkness, despair, poverty, death, loss, confusion, insecurity, and rejection, God is working ALL things together according to His good and perfect will. That is a hope you can stand on.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Battle 3: Practical foolishness
As the Doubt story is developing, I am finding myself immersed in all kinds of new information. I recently took some time and read Ravi Zacharias's book, The End of Reason, in which he refutes the claims of the new militant atheists led by writers Sam Harris and Richard Dawkins. Three years ago, in 2006, Sam Harris wrote a book entitled, "Letter to A Christian Nation", a hostile and bitter diatribe against religion and God. His book openly claims that not only is there no God, but that a country such as America is utterly foolish and will bring about it's own destruction if it continues to believe in him. Harris's biggest claim in the book is that a majority of the conflicts, wars, murders, genocides, and holocausts around the world are a direct result of religious beliefs and the delusional results of belief in an imaginary God. He goes on within the book to use old, recycled arguments that atheists have been pushing (unsuccesfully) for centuries to try and support his angry claims.
There is an issue here that I think Zacharias uncovers beautifully in his book "The End of Reason." Sam Harris is making the claim that staunch religious beliefs and intolerance on the part of the church are the cause of mass suffering and pain the world over. However, if he is to make this claim, then he must consider the alternative. One of the first rules of making philosophical statements about religious beliefs, is that if you deny one religious belief, you have to stop and consider what you are affirming in it's place. So, let's take a look at just how much harm and damage atheism has caused, shall we?
First of all, Harris takes a huge shot at Christianity by claiming that the anti-semitism birthed in midieval Christianity spawned the Holocaust. But as Zacharias asks in his book, "Has Harris read about Hitler's own spiritual journey? Has he read anything about Hitler's dabbling in the occult? Is he aware that Hitler personally presented the writings of Nietzsche to Stalin and Mussolini? Is he ignoring the fact that others who were not Jewish were also slaughtered by Hitler? Did he read Nazi mastermind Adolf Eichmann's last words that refused repentance and denied belief in God? Does he know how many Russians were killed by the Nazi war machine? Does he recall Hitler's words inscribed over one of the gas ovens in Auschwitz - "I want to raise a generation of young people devoid of a conscience, imperious, relentless and cruel"? Does he know that Hitler's point was that the destruction of the weak is a good thing for the survival of the strong and that "nature intended it that way," as is taught by atheistic evolution's tent of natural selection- "the survival of the fittest"? None of these signs of the Holocaust point back to Christianity." In fact they point a pretty damning finger at atheistic belief systems as being the driving force behind the murder of millions during Hitler's chaotic massacre. In fact, two of the other most prolific mass murderers in history, Stalin and Pol Pot, were both professed atheists. Isn't it interesting that when Stalin and Pol Pot do the murdering, it is because they are deranged psychopaths; their atheism has nothing to do with their outrageous hate crimes. However, when a Holocaust is produced from the mind of a crazed ideologue like Hitler, it is the result of 400 years of Christian intolerance of the Jews.
Ravi Zacharias also makes the point that Harris has probably not considered the fact that his own angry writings may end up sowing the seeds for the future slaughter of Christians. Zacharias asks, "Has he paused to think what motivates him to write these things against a group of people? What would he say if two hundred years from now someone says that genocide against Christians can be traced back to the anti-Christian writings of Sam Harris? Atheists can't have it both ways. If the murder of innocents is wrong, it is not because science tells us it is wrong but because every life has intrinsic worth- a postulate that atheism simply cannot deduce."
Another problem is that Harris cannot argue the point that what Hitler did was evil without assigning life a moral framework. Atheists cannot explain why we share a somewhat common morality. If there is no moral law giver, there cannot be a moral law. Therefore (according to atheism), there is no such thing as right and wrong or good and evil. Your morality is your morality, not anyone elses. Yet Harris is quick to present Hitler's Holocaust as wrong. But if he truly believes what he says, who is to say that Hilter was wrong. According to atheistic teaching, morality is objective and therefore Hitler did nothing wrong at all. His actions were moral in his own eyes and that's all that matters. How foolish can you be?!?
Zacharias puts it best when he says,"What is the moral framework Harris adopts on which he has built his entire critique of God? His emotion-laden critique hangs on an argument that says, "I can see no moral framework operating in the world, but what I do see is morally condemnable." In philosophical terms, this is called a mutually exclusive assumption." Harris wants to establish what he views as morally wrong, while claiming that morality does not exist. This is absolute foolishness and has so many wholes in it that it is laughable at best.
Anyways, just some stuff to think about. God Bless.
There is an issue here that I think Zacharias uncovers beautifully in his book "The End of Reason." Sam Harris is making the claim that staunch religious beliefs and intolerance on the part of the church are the cause of mass suffering and pain the world over. However, if he is to make this claim, then he must consider the alternative. One of the first rules of making philosophical statements about religious beliefs, is that if you deny one religious belief, you have to stop and consider what you are affirming in it's place. So, let's take a look at just how much harm and damage atheism has caused, shall we?
First of all, Harris takes a huge shot at Christianity by claiming that the anti-semitism birthed in midieval Christianity spawned the Holocaust. But as Zacharias asks in his book, "Has Harris read about Hitler's own spiritual journey? Has he read anything about Hitler's dabbling in the occult? Is he aware that Hitler personally presented the writings of Nietzsche to Stalin and Mussolini? Is he ignoring the fact that others who were not Jewish were also slaughtered by Hitler? Did he read Nazi mastermind Adolf Eichmann's last words that refused repentance and denied belief in God? Does he know how many Russians were killed by the Nazi war machine? Does he recall Hitler's words inscribed over one of the gas ovens in Auschwitz - "I want to raise a generation of young people devoid of a conscience, imperious, relentless and cruel"? Does he know that Hitler's point was that the destruction of the weak is a good thing for the survival of the strong and that "nature intended it that way," as is taught by atheistic evolution's tent of natural selection- "the survival of the fittest"? None of these signs of the Holocaust point back to Christianity." In fact they point a pretty damning finger at atheistic belief systems as being the driving force behind the murder of millions during Hitler's chaotic massacre. In fact, two of the other most prolific mass murderers in history, Stalin and Pol Pot, were both professed atheists. Isn't it interesting that when Stalin and Pol Pot do the murdering, it is because they are deranged psychopaths; their atheism has nothing to do with their outrageous hate crimes. However, when a Holocaust is produced from the mind of a crazed ideologue like Hitler, it is the result of 400 years of Christian intolerance of the Jews.
Ravi Zacharias also makes the point that Harris has probably not considered the fact that his own angry writings may end up sowing the seeds for the future slaughter of Christians. Zacharias asks, "Has he paused to think what motivates him to write these things against a group of people? What would he say if two hundred years from now someone says that genocide against Christians can be traced back to the anti-Christian writings of Sam Harris? Atheists can't have it both ways. If the murder of innocents is wrong, it is not because science tells us it is wrong but because every life has intrinsic worth- a postulate that atheism simply cannot deduce."
Another problem is that Harris cannot argue the point that what Hitler did was evil without assigning life a moral framework. Atheists cannot explain why we share a somewhat common morality. If there is no moral law giver, there cannot be a moral law. Therefore (according to atheism), there is no such thing as right and wrong or good and evil. Your morality is your morality, not anyone elses. Yet Harris is quick to present Hitler's Holocaust as wrong. But if he truly believes what he says, who is to say that Hilter was wrong. According to atheistic teaching, morality is objective and therefore Hitler did nothing wrong at all. His actions were moral in his own eyes and that's all that matters. How foolish can you be?!?
Zacharias puts it best when he says,"What is the moral framework Harris adopts on which he has built his entire critique of God? His emotion-laden critique hangs on an argument that says, "I can see no moral framework operating in the world, but what I do see is morally condemnable." In philosophical terms, this is called a mutually exclusive assumption." Harris wants to establish what he views as morally wrong, while claiming that morality does not exist. This is absolute foolishness and has so many wholes in it that it is laughable at best.
Anyways, just some stuff to think about. God Bless.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Battle 2: Doubt
The internship continues on! My next story (and the one that I actually get to write) is one about doubt. When Amber laid the initial story ideas out in front of me, I jumped at the chance to write this one. Doubt is a touchy subject for me and I have had run-in after run-in with it. It is one of those pesky struggles that Christ promised would come in John 16:33. However, as that scripture commands, I must take heart and know that Jesus has overcome the world. In this article, it is up to me to take common doubts and questions that students have and try to find answers worth giving. It is a daunting task, considering that I already know from my own experiences that many of these questions have no legitimate answer. In the end they require total faith... my favorite (I wish you could hear the sarcasm behind that last phrase). Here are my ideas so far. They are not as they will be and will certainly change with the story as it goes.
My first year out of high school, I attended a secular community college. I was unsure of what I would do with my life and my parents thought it foolish to throw money into college if I didn't even have a direction to head in. I signed up for general education courses and started knocking them out with relative ease. Then I hit a class that has changed much of how I view life (whether it was for better or worse has yet to be established). I enrolled in basic philosophy. I come from a background of Christianity, born and raised on a church pew. As I entered the world of critical thinking and philosophical debate, I quickly found myself realizing that my faith was largely without critical defense on my part. I knew what I believed, but I had know idea why. My professor was a young man, maybe in his early thirties. He was well-read and educated to the highest degree, but he also had a charismatic (yet somewhat mellow) personality that just resonated with every student in the class. When it came to philosophical debate, he was like a relentless animal, pushing us to defend our points of view and often playing devil's advocate simply for the sake of making a point. When we began to discuss God, he was incredible at articulating both sides of every argument. He could seamlessly switch between defending God and disproving His existence within a matter of minutes. He knew ever angle, every catch, every argument, and every counter-argument. It was obvious that he had spent much of his young life studying the material. Several times throughout the debate about God, students asked him, "Sean, tell us what you believe. Are you an atheist or do you believe in God?" He always managed to sidestep the question, telling us that he didn't want to introduce any bias to our discussions and assignments by revealing his stance. During the last week of class, one student finally remembered to ask him, "Sean, what do you believe." I'll never forget his answer. He simply looked at us and said, "I don't know." Sean was an agnostic, unable to decide whether or not he truly believed that God existed or not. His extensive research in the field had only served to make him indecisive. He knew all the arguments and all the angles, but in the end did not know what he really believed.
As I look back over my own experiences with doubt and compare them to the questions of current students, I find that the root of the problem. We are looking for arguments instead of answers. In the end, all arguments beget more arguments. All debates create new debates. However, when it comes to doubt, the answers are not in arguments. They are in experience. When you are trying to defend your favorite restaurant to a friend, you can sit and debate with them about it all they want, but you will not be able to sway them until you invite them to come and experience the restaurant with you. Should Christianity and God be any different?
Well... I was going to start tackling the questions that I have gotten from the students, but it is well past 1 in the morning here in Springfield, and I figure I'd better get to bed so that I can wake up for class tomorrow. I will finish this later. Thanks so much guys for sharing in my thoughts. I look forward to hearing any feedback you guys have!
-Dane Mohrmann
My first year out of high school, I attended a secular community college. I was unsure of what I would do with my life and my parents thought it foolish to throw money into college if I didn't even have a direction to head in. I signed up for general education courses and started knocking them out with relative ease. Then I hit a class that has changed much of how I view life (whether it was for better or worse has yet to be established). I enrolled in basic philosophy. I come from a background of Christianity, born and raised on a church pew. As I entered the world of critical thinking and philosophical debate, I quickly found myself realizing that my faith was largely without critical defense on my part. I knew what I believed, but I had know idea why. My professor was a young man, maybe in his early thirties. He was well-read and educated to the highest degree, but he also had a charismatic (yet somewhat mellow) personality that just resonated with every student in the class. When it came to philosophical debate, he was like a relentless animal, pushing us to defend our points of view and often playing devil's advocate simply for the sake of making a point. When we began to discuss God, he was incredible at articulating both sides of every argument. He could seamlessly switch between defending God and disproving His existence within a matter of minutes. He knew ever angle, every catch, every argument, and every counter-argument. It was obvious that he had spent much of his young life studying the material. Several times throughout the debate about God, students asked him, "Sean, tell us what you believe. Are you an atheist or do you believe in God?" He always managed to sidestep the question, telling us that he didn't want to introduce any bias to our discussions and assignments by revealing his stance. During the last week of class, one student finally remembered to ask him, "Sean, what do you believe." I'll never forget his answer. He simply looked at us and said, "I don't know." Sean was an agnostic, unable to decide whether or not he truly believed that God existed or not. His extensive research in the field had only served to make him indecisive. He knew all the arguments and all the angles, but in the end did not know what he really believed.
As I look back over my own experiences with doubt and compare them to the questions of current students, I find that the root of the problem. We are looking for arguments instead of answers. In the end, all arguments beget more arguments. All debates create new debates. However, when it comes to doubt, the answers are not in arguments. They are in experience. When you are trying to defend your favorite restaurant to a friend, you can sit and debate with them about it all they want, but you will not be able to sway them until you invite them to come and experience the restaurant with you. Should Christianity and God be any different?
Well... I was going to start tackling the questions that I have gotten from the students, but it is well past 1 in the morning here in Springfield, and I figure I'd better get to bed so that I can wake up for class tomorrow. I will finish this later. Thanks so much guys for sharing in my thoughts. I look forward to hearing any feedback you guys have!
-Dane Mohrmann
Friday, September 25, 2009
Battle 1: Contentment vs. Progress
It is well after midnight here in Springfield, but I am honestly nowhere near ready for sleep. Today I had an internship meeting at OnCourse magazine. I am currently in the development stage of my story ideas for the next issue. One that I am completely stoked about is the spiritual column, which will be dealing with the concept of contentment as opposed to progress in our Christian walk. The ideas pouring out of my brain for this story were too exciting to keep to myself, so I figured I would write them on the blog (even though I will be assigning the story to someone else haha).
The most important thing to remember when looking at these two seemingly incompatible ideas is the fact that contentment is not the same as stagnation. In the evangelical community at large, people often make the mistake of taking someone's contentment for them simply being stagnant. Stagnation is sitting motionless in one stage of your walk with God, and having no intent of going further. Just as a pond that is stagnant begins to grow all kinds of filth and algae, so a person who is stagnant in their walk with Christ. They begin to become bogged down with the filth all around them and many eventually fall away from their relationships with Christ altogether. Those who don't fall away become wrapped up in license and begin to look for all the ways that they can blur the line between right and wrong and still call themselves "Christians."
These kind of people are not the type of people that this article will be addressing. I am more interested in contentment. Contentment is getting to a stage in your walk and learning to be happy and enjoy it, while looking ahead toward the next level. It is not about standing still. It is about walking in thanksgiving and gratitude while you are in one level. Did you know that in the Bible (specifically the Old Testament), God gives Moses several feasts and parties that the Jews must engage in. The feasts were a time for good food, family enjoyment, relaxation, getting away from the stresses of life, and giving praise to God for His provision to them. God even goes so far as to say that anyone who does not take part in the feasts and parties will be killed! When is the last time you heard that God preached from the pulpit? The God who says, "Take time to relax and party, or I'll kill you." That is certainly not a common view that we have of God. However, I think these scriptures show us that God does want us to take time to be content in Him. Just because we are at one level does not mean we have to stay there. If that's not a reason to stop and party and praise God, then I don't know what is.
Progress is a different animal, because it presupposes the idea that you cannot just stay in one place in God. This unnerves us because we are so horrified by the notion of change from what is comfortable. We love change when it comes to something that we do not quite appreciate. Just look at the last presidential election. Most people voted primarily for the purpose of bringing about some kind of change. The truth of the matter is that God is extremely interested in bringing about change in our lives, and the sooner we get accustomed to it the better. Just as God loves for us to be content and thankful for our current walk, He is also given great pleasure by encouraging us toward the next level. Contentment and progress must go hand in hand in order for God's purpose in our lives to be fulfilled. If you lean too far one way or too far the other, it may be time to reevaluate your walk. Are you so anxious to get to the next thing God has for you that you don't take anytime to thank him for what He is currently doing or what He's done in the past? Or are you so comfortable with where He's brought you that you can't bear the thought of leaving? In either situation, you must realize that God is a God of balance. There are two sides to every coin and two parts to every walk. Stop and take a minute to enjoy where God has you. Then pick your head up, look toward the next checkpoint, and do what you know God is calling you to.
So I'm thinking that whoever ends up writing this will do a great job. Those are just my thoughts. In the end, I am still just trying to sort this whole thing out myself. God bless.
The most important thing to remember when looking at these two seemingly incompatible ideas is the fact that contentment is not the same as stagnation. In the evangelical community at large, people often make the mistake of taking someone's contentment for them simply being stagnant. Stagnation is sitting motionless in one stage of your walk with God, and having no intent of going further. Just as a pond that is stagnant begins to grow all kinds of filth and algae, so a person who is stagnant in their walk with Christ. They begin to become bogged down with the filth all around them and many eventually fall away from their relationships with Christ altogether. Those who don't fall away become wrapped up in license and begin to look for all the ways that they can blur the line between right and wrong and still call themselves "Christians."
These kind of people are not the type of people that this article will be addressing. I am more interested in contentment. Contentment is getting to a stage in your walk and learning to be happy and enjoy it, while looking ahead toward the next level. It is not about standing still. It is about walking in thanksgiving and gratitude while you are in one level. Did you know that in the Bible (specifically the Old Testament), God gives Moses several feasts and parties that the Jews must engage in. The feasts were a time for good food, family enjoyment, relaxation, getting away from the stresses of life, and giving praise to God for His provision to them. God even goes so far as to say that anyone who does not take part in the feasts and parties will be killed! When is the last time you heard that God preached from the pulpit? The God who says, "Take time to relax and party, or I'll kill you." That is certainly not a common view that we have of God. However, I think these scriptures show us that God does want us to take time to be content in Him. Just because we are at one level does not mean we have to stay there. If that's not a reason to stop and party and praise God, then I don't know what is.
Progress is a different animal, because it presupposes the idea that you cannot just stay in one place in God. This unnerves us because we are so horrified by the notion of change from what is comfortable. We love change when it comes to something that we do not quite appreciate. Just look at the last presidential election. Most people voted primarily for the purpose of bringing about some kind of change. The truth of the matter is that God is extremely interested in bringing about change in our lives, and the sooner we get accustomed to it the better. Just as God loves for us to be content and thankful for our current walk, He is also given great pleasure by encouraging us toward the next level. Contentment and progress must go hand in hand in order for God's purpose in our lives to be fulfilled. If you lean too far one way or too far the other, it may be time to reevaluate your walk. Are you so anxious to get to the next thing God has for you that you don't take anytime to thank him for what He is currently doing or what He's done in the past? Or are you so comfortable with where He's brought you that you can't bear the thought of leaving? In either situation, you must realize that God is a God of balance. There are two sides to every coin and two parts to every walk. Stop and take a minute to enjoy where God has you. Then pick your head up, look toward the next checkpoint, and do what you know God is calling you to.
So I'm thinking that whoever ends up writing this will do a great job. Those are just my thoughts. In the end, I am still just trying to sort this whole thing out myself. God bless.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Good News: God Speaks
More often than I care to admit, I will catch myself being spiteful about my upbringing. I was brought up in a church, born and raised in a pew. My parents were the most committed, most sown in, and most ministry-oriented people that I knew. My mom's philosophy was, "If the doors are open, we're there." I sat in church service after church service and sermon after sermon, and I heard every angle of the gospel explained in rich detail. It was great.
That is, until I came into contact with life outside of the church. When I made the decision to come to Evangel, I was coming off of 19 years of nearly perfect church attendance and I had a mind filled with all the Assemblies of God doctrine and years of church sermons and illustrations that you could possibly handle. This worked out just great for a while. In fact a majority of my last two years at Evangel were like a dream come true. They were practically perfect, right down to the little golden halo hanging above my head. Then I got shaken a bit. Under the stress of school, I began to find myself plagued by anxiety. There was a devastating space between me and God. It was what I can only describe as a very large disconnect. I was knocked out of my perfect little experience, and for the first time in my life, I was forced to implement everything that I knew about God. I finally had to pray regularly. I had to fight for everything I was so sure I believed in. I had to prove my faith and perseverance. I quickly found myself unable to do so. It became more and more apparent that all the years of being churched to death had indeed taught me very little about what it meant to truly seek God. I was more lost than someone who had never even heard the gospel, because I thought that I knew everything about God! I was clueless.
The fact of the matter is, I knew of God, but I did not know Him. I knew only what my parents and my pastors had told me about Him. In reality I knew nothing of the living God. I was a retarded and lacking Christian on so many levels. The depth of my hypocrisy was overwhelming as I looked back and forth and up and down for even the smallest glimpse of God in the most remote places. I couldn't find Him at school, and it was getting more and more difficult to find Him at church (this was not the church's fault but mine).
However, I am now beginning to learn how to hear Him speak. For instance, on Thursday between the hours of 5 and 9, God spoke to me three seperate times (though all in reference to the same thing). He spoke to me through a close friend, then through scripture (which another friend showed me, and then through a complete stranger. I would like to tell the entire story, but maybe in a later post.
I guess my point is that it's never enough to simply sit and hear what you should do during trials. Everyone has their own opinions about what brings you through a trial, but I have found that quieting yourself and simply learning how to hear is the best possible thing that you can do. And never underestimate the importance of prayer. I heard a saying once that I have kind of latched onto: "If you're having trouble praying, talk to God about it." It is so simple to talk to God and if you seek Him, you will certainly find Him eventually.
That is, until I came into contact with life outside of the church. When I made the decision to come to Evangel, I was coming off of 19 years of nearly perfect church attendance and I had a mind filled with all the Assemblies of God doctrine and years of church sermons and illustrations that you could possibly handle. This worked out just great for a while. In fact a majority of my last two years at Evangel were like a dream come true. They were practically perfect, right down to the little golden halo hanging above my head. Then I got shaken a bit. Under the stress of school, I began to find myself plagued by anxiety. There was a devastating space between me and God. It was what I can only describe as a very large disconnect. I was knocked out of my perfect little experience, and for the first time in my life, I was forced to implement everything that I knew about God. I finally had to pray regularly. I had to fight for everything I was so sure I believed in. I had to prove my faith and perseverance. I quickly found myself unable to do so. It became more and more apparent that all the years of being churched to death had indeed taught me very little about what it meant to truly seek God. I was more lost than someone who had never even heard the gospel, because I thought that I knew everything about God! I was clueless.
The fact of the matter is, I knew of God, but I did not know Him. I knew only what my parents and my pastors had told me about Him. In reality I knew nothing of the living God. I was a retarded and lacking Christian on so many levels. The depth of my hypocrisy was overwhelming as I looked back and forth and up and down for even the smallest glimpse of God in the most remote places. I couldn't find Him at school, and it was getting more and more difficult to find Him at church (this was not the church's fault but mine).
However, I am now beginning to learn how to hear Him speak. For instance, on Thursday between the hours of 5 and 9, God spoke to me three seperate times (though all in reference to the same thing). He spoke to me through a close friend, then through scripture (which another friend showed me, and then through a complete stranger. I would like to tell the entire story, but maybe in a later post.
I guess my point is that it's never enough to simply sit and hear what you should do during trials. Everyone has their own opinions about what brings you through a trial, but I have found that quieting yourself and simply learning how to hear is the best possible thing that you can do. And never underestimate the importance of prayer. I heard a saying once that I have kind of latched onto: "If you're having trouble praying, talk to God about it." It is so simple to talk to God and if you seek Him, you will certainly find Him eventually.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
All the Noise You Can Handle
Four days back into the college groove and I am finally sitting down to write something. Today was what I might call a difficult day. It felt very much like last semester (a memory that I am desperately trying to forget). The one good part of my day was my first theology class. I guess it's pretty odd that anyone would get excited about that. I just had some things on my mind that were really pestering me. So, I did what just about anyone does when that happens. I went in my room and cranked up some really loud music and got on facebook.
Then it dawned on me. Why, when life's pressures seem the highest, do we immediately turn to noise? I found myself asking this in my own situation and it seemed pretty apparent to me that the answer was fear. We are afraid of the questions that would haunt us if we turned off the music, or shut down the computer, or turned the tv off for even just a few minutes. We fear that the dark things will come out if we are forced to sit alone with them for a moment. Deep down, we all have dark things that loom over us. Doubts, fears, anxieties, depression, feelings of low self-esteem, worthlessness, narcissism, hopelessness, questions, struggles, uncertainties about the future, overwhelming despair, loneliness, unforgiveness, hatred and impatience are just a few that I could name that I am certain that people deal with. These are legitimate evils that seem like they are waiting just around the corner. It feels as though they will pounce on us the moment we let our mind rest and force our filthy desires out into the limelight where they must be dealt with.
This seems like a terrifying predicament. However, I must say that I don't necessarily know if that is a bad thing! Maybe exactly what some of us need is some time alone with our thoughts. For in truth, we will never be fully alone with them. The God of the universe will be there beside you, not bulldozing your darkest anxieties out into the light, but gently cutting them out with the hands of a surgeon, leaving you intact and fully ready to experience beautiful recovery. The moment we begin to treat God like some careless dictator, who is only interested in the result and not the process necessary for that result, we negate his overtaking grace and kindness, which scripture says is what leads us to repentance in the first place.
I took a moment today, in the midst of what seemed like an awful afternoon, and turned off the noise. It was painful. Facing the thoughts buried deep in the back of your mind is anything but enjoyable. It was the equivalent of sitting in a room face-to-face with a murderer and fearing to address him, but knowing that he will not leave until you do just that.
Self-examination, just as in the case of salvation, is a necessary tool to producing the type of fruit that you wish to see in your life.
Then it dawned on me. Why, when life's pressures seem the highest, do we immediately turn to noise? I found myself asking this in my own situation and it seemed pretty apparent to me that the answer was fear. We are afraid of the questions that would haunt us if we turned off the music, or shut down the computer, or turned the tv off for even just a few minutes. We fear that the dark things will come out if we are forced to sit alone with them for a moment. Deep down, we all have dark things that loom over us. Doubts, fears, anxieties, depression, feelings of low self-esteem, worthlessness, narcissism, hopelessness, questions, struggles, uncertainties about the future, overwhelming despair, loneliness, unforgiveness, hatred and impatience are just a few that I could name that I am certain that people deal with. These are legitimate evils that seem like they are waiting just around the corner. It feels as though they will pounce on us the moment we let our mind rest and force our filthy desires out into the limelight where they must be dealt with.
This seems like a terrifying predicament. However, I must say that I don't necessarily know if that is a bad thing! Maybe exactly what some of us need is some time alone with our thoughts. For in truth, we will never be fully alone with them. The God of the universe will be there beside you, not bulldozing your darkest anxieties out into the light, but gently cutting them out with the hands of a surgeon, leaving you intact and fully ready to experience beautiful recovery. The moment we begin to treat God like some careless dictator, who is only interested in the result and not the process necessary for that result, we negate his overtaking grace and kindness, which scripture says is what leads us to repentance in the first place.
I took a moment today, in the midst of what seemed like an awful afternoon, and turned off the noise. It was painful. Facing the thoughts buried deep in the back of your mind is anything but enjoyable. It was the equivalent of sitting in a room face-to-face with a murderer and fearing to address him, but knowing that he will not leave until you do just that.
Self-examination, just as in the case of salvation, is a necessary tool to producing the type of fruit that you wish to see in your life.
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