Why Certainty is Overrated

It is 2 in the morning here in Missouri, so if I start to sound stupid, have a little grace. I was thinking a lot today about why we crave certainty. Think about it. In your life right now, you can not deny that if someone could give you a complete road map of everything you were supposed to do with the next however-many years you have left in your life, you would take. I mean, who wouldn't want that? Me... that's who. I am slowly coming to find that certainty is no longer something I deeply desire. In fact I don't even think that it would make my life easier. The fact of the matter is, if I could look at a complete layout of my life from the present to my dying breath, one of two things would happen. I would either get impatient and try to cut every possible corner to reach the end result faster, or I would get so scared of the hugeness of the end result that I would pick up and run in the opposite direction. I would either try it all in my own power or give up on having any power at all. Another danger to seeing the completed puzzle would be that I would know exactly where the struggles and failures would be and I would try to avoid them. The problem here is that without failure pieces of the puzzle would be missing. In a weird way, the masterpiece needs the failures in order to be complete. Each and every failure is essential to the end result. This doesn't mean that we will ever enjoy being hurt, hurting others, or failing. It just means that with every one of those mistakes, we gain the head knowledge and the heart knowledge to build onto the final product. Make no mistake, it's going to be difficult. All kinds of difficult, shady, unsettling things are going to happen in your life. The key is remembering that with each new lesson learned, you are that much closer to developing the person who God has designed for you to be. When you fail, it is not because you suck and are a general failure. God is not sitting in the heavens going, "What an idiot. Can't he/she ever get anything right?" Your failures are God-ordained and necessary on so many levels. Complete road map to life? No thanks. I'll take the tough road of uncertainty, because I know that there is a God conducting this whole thing and I can be sure that He is certain of what He is doing.

What You Write When You're Starting a Blog

I was helping my friend Taylor record a song tonight and it had such a spectacular theme in it that I just had to write something about it. The song just cries out to God, "Why would You use me?" No lie, that is a pretty legitimate question. Sometimes I am just astounded that God even wants anything to do with me. At my core I am awful, prone to the simple flaws of human nature and wicked down to the very thoughts at the back of my mind. Even more than that is the fact that I have got nothing of my own that is worth putting in front of God. My greatest attempts at righteousness are like foul and dirty rags in front of God's face. It doesn't help that I often prove myself not to be the brightest bulb in the box.
Every time I consider all this, I remember the disciples. A majority of the time in the New Testament, the disciples are just showing how stupid they are with some of the things they say and do and ask. If I was Jesus, I would be looking around like, "Really? Can you be this idiotic right now?" Half of what He says they absolutely do not understand, and the half they do understand they fail at applying. Peter is probably the worst out of all of them, and he ends up being the leader! But, that just brings us right back around to the awesome question, "Why would You use me?" It doesn't make sense to me sometimes. Surely there are a ton of others who are more qualified, with better attitudes and more self-control. But I think the key to all of that is the fact that God knows what we are right now, what we will be 10 years from now, and what we will be like 20 years from now. And the best part is, He loves us just as much now as He will then.
There is so much awesome stuff that God is doing in my life right now and in the area that He has placed me in. Opportunities are practically falling out of the sky for the JR Worship department and God has directed every step. Sometimes I feel completely overwhelmed by the blessing and provision of God in the use of my talents and I find myself asking, "God, why would You use me?"