Battle 2: Doubt

The internship continues on! My next story (and the one that I actually get to write) is one about doubt. When Amber laid the initial story ideas out in front of me, I jumped at the chance to write this one. Doubt is a touchy subject for me and I have had run-in after run-in with it. It is one of those pesky struggles that Christ promised would come in John 16:33. However, as that scripture commands, I must take heart and know that Jesus has overcome the world. In this article, it is up to me to take common doubts and questions that students have and try to find answers worth giving. It is a daunting task, considering that I already know from my own experiences that many of these questions have no legitimate answer. In the end they require total faith... my favorite (I wish you could hear the sarcasm behind that last phrase). Here are my ideas so far. They are not as they will be and will certainly change with the story as it goes.

My first year out of high school, I attended a secular community college. I was unsure of what I would do with my life and my parents thought it foolish to throw money into college if I didn't even have a direction to head in. I signed up for general education courses and started knocking them out with relative ease. Then I hit a class that has changed much of how I view life (whether it was for better or worse has yet to be established). I enrolled in basic philosophy. I come from a background of Christianity, born and raised on a church pew. As I entered the world of critical thinking and philosophical debate, I quickly found myself realizing that my faith was largely without critical defense on my part. I knew what I believed, but I had know idea why. My professor was a young man, maybe in his early thirties. He was well-read and educated to the highest degree, but he also had a charismatic (yet somewhat mellow) personality that just resonated with every student in the class. When it came to philosophical debate, he was like a relentless animal, pushing us to defend our points of view and often playing devil's advocate simply for the sake of making a point. When we began to discuss God, he was incredible at articulating both sides of every argument. He could seamlessly switch between defending God and disproving His existence within a matter of minutes. He knew ever angle, every catch, every argument, and every counter-argument. It was obvious that he had spent much of his young life studying the material. Several times throughout the debate about God, students asked him, "Sean, tell us what you believe. Are you an atheist or do you believe in God?" He always managed to sidestep the question, telling us that he didn't want to introduce any bias to our discussions and assignments by revealing his stance. During the last week of class, one student finally remembered to ask him, "Sean, what do you believe." I'll never forget his answer. He simply looked at us and said, "I don't know." Sean was an agnostic, unable to decide whether or not he truly believed that God existed or not. His extensive research in the field had only served to make him indecisive. He knew all the arguments and all the angles, but in the end did not know what he really believed.

As I look back over my own experiences with doubt and compare them to the questions of current students, I find that the root of the problem. We are looking for arguments instead of answers. In the end, all arguments beget more arguments. All debates create new debates. However, when it comes to doubt, the answers are not in arguments. They are in experience. When you are trying to defend your favorite restaurant to a friend, you can sit and debate with them about it all they want, but you will not be able to sway them until you invite them to come and experience the restaurant with you. Should Christianity and God be any different?

Well... I was going to start tackling the questions that I have gotten from the students, but it is well past 1 in the morning here in Springfield, and I figure I'd better get to bed so that I can wake up for class tomorrow. I will finish this later. Thanks so much guys for sharing in my thoughts. I look forward to hearing any feedback you guys have!

-Dane Mohrmann